Parenthood transforms nearly every aspect of life — your daily routine, your priorities and even your brain. Between late-night feedings and trying to remember the last time your baby napped, many new parents find themselves feeling foggy, forgetful or simply mentally drained.
You start a task, get distracted by your little one and completely forget what you’re doing. Or maybe you leave your phone in the fridge — or worse on the roof of the car. These moments are often affectionately (or not-so-affectionately) called mommy brain or baby brain.
The term refers to a mix of memory lapses, forgetfulness and difficulty concentrating that many people experience during pregnancy and after childbirth. But is mommy brain real or is it just a stereotype about parenthood?
We spoke with Colleen Cagno, MD, a family medicine physician with Banner – University Medicine, who sheds light on the science behind mommy brain, how it affects new parents and what you can do to stay sharp during this exciting but sometimes exhausting time.
Is mommy brain real?
Yes, but probably not in the way you think.
“Around 80% of pregnant people say they experience forgetfulness or difficulty concentrating,” Dr. Cagno said. “However, while people may feel their memory or focus becomes impaired during or after pregnancy, most recent research has shown no cognitive decrease or decline in motherhood.”
Research suggests that cognitive performance on tasks done during pregnancy is comparable to that of non-mothers, especially after adjusting for other factors, like changes in stress, sleep and the mental load of caring for a newborn. Studies on memory in mothers and fathers have also shown that both perform equally well on memory tasks during and after pregnancy.
Instead of cognitive impairments, scientists believe changes in memory and focus reflect a shift in focus toward parenting-related tasks and actual changes that occur during and after pregnancy.
How pregnancy changes the brain
“One interesting study used brain scans (MRIs) to look at changes in the brain before, during and after pregnancy,” Dr. Cagno said. “It showed that the brain’s gray matter (which is important for thinking and decision-making) decreases during pregnancy. At the same time, white matter (which helps different parts of the brain communicate) increases in certain areas.”
These changes are thought to help the brain focus on new behaviors, like bonding with and caring for a baby. In particular, the brain changes in areas that help with social processing, like understanding emotions and reading other people’s cues. These changes help parents better respond to their baby’s needs, strengthening their bond.
The role of sleep and stress
It’s important to remember that mommy brain isn’t just about what’s happening inside the brain. It’s also about what’s happening outside of it.
Becoming a parent is stressful! There’s a lot of change to deal with, from adjusting to a new routine to caring for a baby 24/7. Stress and lack of sleep can make it harder to focus or remember things. In fact, sleep deprivation is one of the main reasons why people experience memory problems or difficulty concentrating during and after pregnancy.
“Lack of sleep can contribute to difficulty paying attention, learning, response times and memory,” Dr. Cagno said. “The lack of sleep can also affect fathers, partners, non-biological parents and other caregivers.”
On top of that, new parents have a lot more to juggle. In addition to taking care of children, they may also handle household chores, manage finances and work full-time jobs. All this adds to the mental load and can make it harder to focus on things that don’t feel as urgent.
Will mommy brain last forever?
The structural changes of the brain may last at least two years after birth, but the experience of mommy brain and how long this lasts after giving birth can vary from person to person. You may notice improvements within months but don’t worry if you feel the effects for a longer time. Factors like whether it’s your first child, stress levels and available support all influence how long symptoms last.
Dr. Cagno offers reassurance that these changes don’t mean your brain is getting worse.
“Being in a more challenging environment for a long time can actually be good for the brain and may help keep it strong as you age,” she said.
Tips for coping with mommy brain
If you’re feeling mentally foggy, there are ways to support your memory and focus:
- Prioritize sleep: Sleep is one of the most important factors for memory and focus. While it may not always be possible to get a full night’s sleep with a newborn, nap when you can. Even short naps can help. Share nighttime duties with a partner or adjust expectations to allow for rest. Check out our article on sleeping tips for new parents.
- Stay active: Light exercise like walking or yoga can boost cognitive function and reduce stress. These activities can help clear your mind and improve focus. Plus exercise is good for your overall health.
- Manage stress: Lean on your support system, whether a parenting group, online community, friends and family or a therapist.
- Use memory aids: Set phone or calendar reminders, use apps to track feedings or appointments and write things down to ease mental strain.
- Be kind to yourself: Parenting is an adjustment and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. Give yourself grace as you navigate these changes.
Takeaway
Mommy brain or baby brain is a real phenomenon experienced by many but it’s not something to fear. The structural changes happening in your brain during and after pregnancy are normal. The experiences of mommy brain are part of adjusting to life as a parent and bonding with your baby. While it can be frustrating to feel forgetful and foggy, it’s not a sign of serious mental decline.
Remember, it’s completely normal to have memory lapses and forgetfulness. With time and support, the fog should lift.
If you have concerns that your brain fog is not clearing or you are feeling symptoms of insomnia, hopelessness, tearfulness, anxiety or other symptoms of depression, talk to your doctor or a Banner Health specialist.
