Helping Your Child Cope With Their Stress

Kids today face a wide range of stressors—too many commitments, problems with friends, and the pressures of schoolwork. While stress is a natural part of life, your child may struggle to manage it effectively. Children often lack the coping mechanisms that adults develop over time, and the stress they feel can show up in different ways.

Bahar Altaha, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist with Banner Behavioral Health Hospital, explained, "If your child starts complaining of physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, or shows changes in sleep, appetite, mood or behavior, they may be exhibiting signs of stress."

Schedule downtime

One of the biggest stressors for children is being overscheduled. Kids often have busy lives filled with school, extracurricular activities and social events. Unfortunately, even fun activities can become overwhelming if there is no time to relax. Over time, the emphasis shifts from enjoyment to achievement and competition.

Dr. Altaha recommended that parents create opportunities for their children to unwind. "Find time at least a few nights a week for your child to simply relax and not think about schedules or commitments," she suggested.

Allowing downtime helps your child recharge and prevents burnout. Make relaxation a priority—whether it's a quiet evening at home, reading together or simply letting your child enjoy some free playtime.

Have one-on-one time

Children need quality time with their parents. Although they may not always show it, kids crave attention and connection with their caregivers. A simple daily conversation can do wonders for easing their worries.

Dr. Altaha advised, "Spending just 30 minutes with your child each day to walk through their day can help them feel heard and supported." This one-on-one time can be during dinner, while driving to school, or at bedtime—whatever works best for both of you. Stick to a routine so your child knows when to expect it.

Create a bedtime routine

Sleep is a critical factor in managing stress. Kids who don't get enough rest may experience heightened anxiety or irritability. To help your child get the sleep they need, establish a calming bedtime routine.

For children aged 6-12, the recommended amount of sleep is 10-11 hours, while teens aged 13-18 should aim for 8-9 hours of sleep. Dr. Altaha suggested creating a 30-45 minute bedtime routine to help your child wind down from the day's activities. This can include reading, taking a warm bath or listening to calming music.

If your child struggles with anxiety, a worry journal by their bedside can be helpful. "Let them write down their worries from the day before bed," Dr. Altaha said. "This helps them offload their thoughts and clear their mind." Additionally, meditation or relaxation apps designed for kids, such as sleep meditation or guided breathing exercises, can also help them relax.

Limit social media use

In today's digital world, social media can contribute significantly to your child's stress. From peer pressure to cyberbullying, there are many challenges that come with online interaction. Schools are beginning to address these issues through educational programs, but as a parent, it's important to take an active role in managing your child's screen time.
Dr. Altaha recommended "overseeing your child's technology use, setting limits and regularly talking with them about what apps or platforms they are using." By maintaining an open dialogue, you can help your child navigate the digital world more safely and responsibly.

Model good stress management

Stress can be contagious, and if you're feeling overwhelmed, your child may pick up on it. Children learn by example, so it's important to model healthy ways to cope with stress. Whether it's exercising, engaging in a hobby or simply taking a deep breath, showing your child how to manage stress can have a lasting impact on their own ability to cope.

“We as parents have to be role models. If we want our children to reduce stress, we should reduce stress too,” Dr. Altaha said. This means practicing what you preach—if you can take time to unwind and manage stress in healthy ways, your child is more likely to do the same.
Additionally, children often feel pressure to be perfect. Remind your child that it's okay to make mistakes and that they don’t have to know everything. When you make an error, take responsibility for it and show them how to handle setbacks gracefully.

When to seek professional help

If your child continues to exhibit signs of severe stress or anxiety, it may be time to seek professional help. Banner Behavioral Health offers resources and support to help your child cope with stress in a healthy way. Reach out to a Banner Behavioral Health expert near you for guidance.

Have you listened?

Managing Your Child's Stress: Tips for Parents