Parenting tweens and teens can often feel like an emotional rollercoaster. One minute, your child is a sweet, cooperative kid. And the next, they’re a moody and withdrawn teenager. It’s a challenging time for you both!
Amidst the whirlwind of school pressures, social media drama and the quest for independence, your child’s mental health can sometimes take a hit. Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can make a big difference in their lives.
Mindfulness isn’t just a trendy buzzword. It’s a powerful tool that can help your child navigate the ups and downs of adolescence with greater ease and resilience.
With the help of Jennifer Keiser, LMSW, a social worker and intensive outpatient counselor with Banner Health, we’ll explore how you can raise mindful tweens and teens, provide them with lifelong skills for handling stress and promote overall health and wellness.
Understanding the stressors and developmental changes
Tweens (ages 9-12) and teens (ages 13-19) are at a critical stage of development. Your child’s brain is growing rapidly, and they’re experiencing many emotional, social and physical changes.
“These developmental changes can increase their vulnerability for developing mental health issues such as anxiety and depression,” Keiser said. “Some of the most common stressors that tweens and teens face today are related to school, their parents and peers.”
These stressors may include:
- School: Never-ending assignments, pressure from teachers or coaches to do their best and time constraints that don’t allow much time to use the bathroom, socialize, eat lunch or play can lead to anxiety, depression and burnout.
- Parents: Kids often hear, “Do your homework, get good grades, clean your messes, do chores, get off your phone/electronics, be responsible by getting a job, get into a good college and hang out with the right people.” Sometimes, the issues parents face – such as financial problems, arguments, substance use in the home, untreated mental health issues and physical health issues – also affect teens and tweens.
- Peers: Tweens and teens face peers who bully or pressure them to use drugs, vape, drink alcohol or have sex. They may also feel pressured to be skinnier, smarter, prettier or better at sports. Lack of friends or someone they can relate to and peers who don’t keep things confidential or spread rumors and insecurities can also be major sources of stress.
The benefits of mindfulness for tweens and teens
Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It involves being aware of your thoughts, emotions and physical sensations in a gentle and accepting way.
Mindfulness for tweens and teens can help to:
- Reduce stress and anxiety: Mindfulness practices help tweens and teens reduce anxiety and stress, allowing them to focus on academics and maintain balance in their lives. “Learning stress management strategies can help with productivity, even for those with ADD (attention deficit disorder),” Keiser said.
- Improve focus and concentration: By practicing mindfulness, they can improve their ability to concentrate on tasks, which is helpful for academic success.
- Better emotional regulation: Mindfulness teaches them to observe their emotions without reacting impulsively, leading to better emotional control and fewer conflicts. It can also help relax the mind and help with sleep.
- Enhance self-esteem and self-awareness: Mindfulness encourages self-acceptance and compassion, which can boost self-esteem and help them avoid comparing themselves to others too much.
- Reduce decision fatigue: Mindfulness can reduce decision fatigue by helping tweens and teens make better choices. For example, it helps them resist peer pressure when faced with difficult decisions.
- Aid in long-term mental health: Developing mindfulness skills in adolescence can provide lifelong tools for coping with stress and maintaining mental health.
Seven tips for practicing mindfulness
Keiser shared the following mindfulness tips for teens and tweens:
1. Mindful breathing and meditation
Show your tween or teen how to take a few minutes each day to focus on their breathing and set a positive frame of mind. It’s a practice you can do with them, too!
Start by finding a comfortable position. Have them close their eyes and pay attention to their breath as it goes in and out. If their mind wanders, have them gently bring their focus back to their breath.
Ask them to try this for five minutes each day for 30 days. If they are beginning, they can start with one or two minutes until they become more comfortable. They can also use a guided meditation app on YouTube or Insight Timer to help them get started.
2. Ground your senses (5-4-3-2-1)
The 5,4,3,2,1 technique uses all five senses to help ground you in the present moment. Here’s how it works:
- 5: Name five things you see around you, like a chair, a door or a pencil.
- 4: Name four things you can touch around you, like the smooth texture of the back of the chair or the coolness of the door handle.
- 3: Name three sounds you hear, like the birds chirping outside or the neighbor next door.
- 2: Name two things you smell, such as the laundry detergent on your clothes or something baking in the kitchen.
- 1: Name something you taste, like the flavor of the gum in your mouth.
3. Journaling
Encourage your tween or teen to write down three things they are grateful for each day. They can write down their thoughts and feelings, noting any mindful moments or feelings they experienced.
4. Mealtimes together
Have mealtimes with your tween or teen without phones or TV. Look each other in the eyes and talk about your day. Here are some questions you can use to help engage your tween or teen in conversation.
5. Mindful walking
Take walks in parks or nature reserves with your tween or teen, paying close attention to the sights, sounds and smells around you.
6. Mindful study habits
To improve focus, encourage spending a few minutes meditating or doing a breathing exercise before starting a study session. Introduce techniques like the Pomodoro Technique to study in focused intervals with short breaks in between. “They could also play brainwave music, which helps spark alertness, productivity, imagination, learning, visualization, memory and healing of the body,” Keiser said.
7. Connection with others
Be present and attentive and foster deep, meaningful conversations with your tween or teen. Encourage them to participate in community service or volunteering activities to develop a sense of connection and purpose.
Check out the family mindfulness schedule or the mindful parenting family tool kit for additional resources and ideas.
Make mindfulness a habit
To help your tween or teen keep this habit going, start by practicing it together. Make it a family practice. Set aside a few minutes each day for mindfulness. Consistency is key. Try to create a routine that fits their daily schedule without feeling like a chore.
Encourage your child
Remember, mindfulness is a skill that takes time to develop. Be patient and encouraging. Celebrate your child’s efforts and progress, no matter how small. If they resist, try different mindfulness activities until they find something they really enjoy. The goal is to help your tween or teen discover the benefits of mindfulness in a way that feels natural and rewarding to them.
Conclusion
Raising mindful tweens and teens is about providing them with tools to navigate the challenges of growing up in today’s world. Introducing them to mindfulness can help them build resilience, emotional regulation and a more positive outlook on life.
Start small, be patient and make mindfulness a part of your family’s daily life. The benefits will be well worth the effort. You will be setting your children — and your family — up for a healthier, happier future.
Contact one of our Banner Health providers for more tips or resources on supporting your child’s mental health.
