In today's culture of oversharing, it’s easy to present a perfect life online while concealing struggles. But for those battling depression or suicidal thoughts, this culture can feel especially isolating. Unfortunately, mental health issues and suicide still carry significant stigma. Depression affects 1 in 10 Americans at some point in their lives, and suicide has become the second leading cause of death for individuals ages 10-34.
If you have a friend or loved one dealing with depression or contemplating suicide, it can be hard to know how to help. While the instinct might be to solve their "problem," one of the best ways to support them is to simply be present and listen. According to Adeola Adelayo, MD, a psychiatrist at Banner Behavioral Health Hospital, here are five effective ways you can support a friend in need.
1. Be there for them
Sometimes, just letting your friend know you care can make a world of difference. People with depression often feel too overwhelmed to reach out. Even if your friend doesn’t initiate contact, continue to check in with them. Offering to help with daily tasks, like bringing them meals or assisting with childcare, can ease their burden and show that you’re there for them.
2. Ask about their mental health
Don’t be afraid to ask your friend directly if they are having suicidal thoughts. According to Dr. Adelayo, “Many people believe that bringing up the topic of suicide will encourage it, but this is a misconception. Asking about their thoughts in a compassionate, nonjudgmental way shows your friend that you are open to discussing these difficult feelings.”
By opening the door for an honest conversation, you can help break down the stigma surrounding mental health and offer the support your friend needs.
3. Create a Hope Box
A "Hope Box" is a simple yet powerful tool to remind your friend that their life has value. Fill it with items that bring comfort or inspire hope, such as:
- Photographs of friends and family
- Positive affirmations and encouraging messages
- A bucket list or personal goals
- Coping cards with ideas to manage overwhelming emotions
Dr. Adelayo explained that “When feeling hopeless, having tangible reminders of the love and value they have in their life can help counter negative, irrational thoughts.” Encourage your friend to reach for their Hope Box during moments of crisis.
4. Help them get the right support
If your friend is struggling, it’s important they receive professional help. Connect them with a mental health specialist or support group. For immediate help, you can direct them to the 988 Lifeline (call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org).
Finding a mental health professional can be daunting, so offer to assist with research or scheduling appointments. If they agree to see someone, offer to drive them to their first appointment, making the process easier for them.
5. Take care of yourself
Supporting a friend with mental health struggles can be emotionally taxing. To be effective, it’s important to take care of your own mental and emotional well-being. Seek support from other friends or consider speaking with a therapist yourself. By practicing self-care, you can ensure you have the strength and patience to help your friend when they need it most.
Know your limits
It's important to understand that you can’t solve your friend’s mental health struggles or prevent them from experiencing their illness. However, by following these steps, you can show that you care and help guide them toward the support they need.
If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm, reach out to the 988 Lifeline or contact a mental health professional immediately.
At Banner Behavioral Health, we're here to help. Visit our behavioral health services page for more information or schedule an appointment with a Banner Health expert.
Recommended reading
- Knowing These Top Suicide Warning Signs Could Save a Life
- 8 Do’s and Don’ts to Help a Loved One with Anxiety
- Here’s What You Should Never Say to Someone With Depression
